As I flip through the pages of Real Simple (May 2019), I make it as far as pg 10, “The Editor’s Note,” where Leslie confesses she is a recovering chronic apologizer. Which is why she loves this issue’s essay feature: “Women on what they no longer apologize for.”
Color me intrigued! I flip to page 126 and read all seven articles, right in a row. Sweet confessions of women no longer apologizing for things like loving cats or hitting the snooze button or being vulnerable.
I’ve been a chronic apologizer for much of my life too. Many of us are.
Funny thing, when we start growing in grace, there’s a lot we don’t have to apologize for anymore! Hmmmm.
I ponder this for a few minutes till I crack a smile and scurry for paper because the non-apology list in my head demands to be written. Now!
And shared.
Without apology.
No Apologies
In grace we no longer have to apologize for:
- What we care about – like having deep conversations or talking about our God stories or focusing on grace all the time
- Who we surround ourselves with – because relationships ebb and flow, and sometimes letting go of a friendship is the best thing
- Our emotions – letting yourself feel all the feels, and being okay there
- Ditching the “shoulds” – no more guilt trips needed, thanks so much
- Not being perfect – throwing away the need to be everything to everyone all the time, and realizing it’s okay to mess up
- What brings us joy – proudly loving crispy french fries, cold weather, sappy movies, and more
- How we look – realizing God created your form, just as He wanted you
- Our life path – being okay with not fitting the “norms” for family, kids, community, work, etc
- Not adhering to mainstream Christianity – instead, focusing on our identity, what’s RIGHT with us in Christ, and how much joy and fun can be had on this grace adventure
And, oh, the stories we can tell! Stories of angst turned to joy, fear morphing into courage, trying-to-please becoming God’s already pleased. A wild symphony of beliefs and behavior turned upside down through the power of grace.
What’s on your list?
What areas in your life do you no longer apologize for? Where can you fully embrace who you are, by God’s grace?
The only reason we can even make a No-Apology List is because of His grace. Through His grace we gain ultimate freedom — freedom to embrace who we are, freedom to like what we like, freedom to pursue what God has nestled in our hearts.
Because in Christ, who you are = no apology necessary.
I’ve been apologising my entire life. I’m 48 years old and feel the need to apologize when I mess up, standing in someone’s path to the work fridge, etc. I get anxious about being around my family (mom, siblings, etc) because they like to make fun of me, make snide comments, etc. My own youngest son makes comments about my hair, shoes, purses, etc and I feel the need to explain myself. This is exhausting emotionally, mentally, & physically.
Calandra, you are so right — constant apologizing is exhausting on so many levels! And it can leave us feeling like we’re not enough anywhere, anytime. You, my friend, have lived enough life to have earned the right to like what you like, wear what you want, and do whatever in the world you want with your hair! 🙂 You have nothing to prove. To anyone. Not to mention, if you belong to Jesus, He says you’re never “too much” or “not enough” or “in the way.” You are exactly as He made you, and He’s abundantly proud of you! I hope you enjoy writing your No Apology List, and I’d love to hear how it goes in real life.